Hot and Wet

What a bizarre summer.In the past week I've been cold, hot, sweaty, wet, and dry. There is a microcosm of climate change happening in my pants. Does anyone still read this stupid blog?

Baby Baby Baby

To all my friends out there that I forget to call, break dates, and generally ignore, I'm sorry! What can I say, the new lady in my life is extremely demanding of my time! Don't give up on me though. I still have a bunch of you guys that I need to have over to show off the baby. Ella is well over 15 lbs now and is doing great. She will be 4 months on 8/17, and her favorite thing to do now is bounce in her bouncer. I can't wait for you guys to check her out. I think I sense another poker party coming up....

Little bundle of ...

Hey everyone! I have a really good excuse for not posting this time! It's about 11 lbs, wiggly, and poopy. Yes, that's right, my baby's HERE!! Her name is Ella Josephine, and was born April 17. She was 9 lbs, 3.8 ounces, and 21.5 inches long! We tried encouraging her to come out nicely for two days, and finally the doctor said there was no way that big baby was coming out, let's say... traditionally. So, about 1 hour later, I had my baby in my arms. It was truely amazing!

To everyone who had called or written, thank you, and I'm sorry I haven't replied to everyone, but I'm still trying to catch up on sleep! By and large we're all doing great, and I'll try to post more pictures when I can.

Thanks, and take care!

Dude... Blogging is Hard

Wow, it's been a while since I last updated. So long I'd nearly forgotten about this thing until I saw the sad, neglected link staring at me from my favorites menu.... So, how is everyone? We are having our first real snowfall here this morning. Stewie (who is 75 lbs now!) had a blast running around in the snow like an idiot this morning.

On the baby front, everything is coming together really well. We finally have a nursery! I moved my office downstairs, and I painted the nursery over Christmas break. Somehow grey-purple just didn't seem baby-friendly! Since then I put together the crib I got from C.Wright, and we got a car seat / stroller yesterday. Now we just need a baby to use all this stuff on! 3 months and counting...

One more Milestone

Sorry I haven't posted for a while, but just wanted to let everyone know that the pregnancy is going well. We had our first real ultrasound yesterday and guess what? It's a girl! She is going to be born into probably the best family for a little girl. I know every girl wants a horse and she'll have five, or six to choose from!

Current name considerations:

1. Elle
2. Ella
3. Josephine
4. Lauren
5. Katherine
6. Elana

Say Hello to my Little Friend

A few weeks ago we picked up another furry addition to the household. (as if we need another one!)

Hello, my name is Stewie, and I am sooooooooooo cute!

Track Day Evidence

Hey everyone! Just got some of my pictures from my latest track day:

Track Day take 2

Monday I was lucky enough to enjoy my second track day of the year. I could not have asked for a better day either. It was absolutely stunning out. This time I was riding with a friend in the Intermediate class, which is basically a zoo. There are "control" riders out there, but they aren't controlling much. Everyone pretty much just goes at their own pace, which is fast. I had a great day though. I learned a ton, and improved dramatically. I'm still having a problem with turn 7, but I'm getting better. Unfortunately my friend that I was riding with had a nasty ending. He was running a little faster than me all day, and then in the next to last session he had a low-side. Which is about the nicest wrech you can have, but as soon as his bike got into the grass, it caught dirt and flipped up into the air. When it landed, it was in pieces! If I get some good photos I'll post them in a couple days.

Next week I get to spend the entire week in Fort Wayne Indiana. Anyone know of anything cool to do in Fort Wayne? Other than the Lincoln museum?

Hard Times

Well, the George-cloning business took a serious turn for the worse this week. Unfortunately we lost the pregnancy. It has been pretty tough dealing with this, but the good news is that we are both healthy, and we will try again in a month or two. I did learn something through this experience though that I did not know... Miscarriages are surprisingly common. It seems that up to 33% of pregnancies end in miscarriage within the first 13 weeks. I know it is cliche' and all, but it is for the best. If the body realizes something isn't right, it stops the pregnancy, so obviously this needed to happen. Please keep up in your thoughts and prayers.

Happy Track-Day!

Well, I lucked out and got into my first Motorcycle Track day of the year yesterday. I got to ride with some friends up at Mid-Ohio Race Course. They just repaved it this year and it is pretty nice. Unfortunately someone had to screw it up right off the bat. There was a rider in the first group that went out, and leaked oil over about half the track! We had to sit around and wait about an hour and a half for the track crew to clean it up. But, once they did we were rolling! I entered the Novice class for this first track day because I wanted to work on just getting my confidence back. After last year's wreck in turn 1 I was still pretty timid, but by the end of the day I was right back in my groove. Okay, I was still pretty sketchy on my left turns, and was definately not hanging off as much as my right. But I was really feeling more confident.

Today I woke up with a sun-burned face and two very, very sore legs! I think some folks got some pictures though, so I'll get those up asap.

Scientology

Can someone please explain to me why it's called "Scientology"? It seems like Science is the last thing on their minds, unless you count Science-Fiction as Science.

"It all began 75 million years ago. Back then, there was a galactic federation of planets which was ruled over by the evil Lord Xenu. Xenu thought his galaxy was overpopulated, and so he rounded up countless aliens from all different planets, and then had those aliens frozen. The frozen alien bodies were loaded on to Xenu's galactic cruisers, which looked like DC-8s, except with rocket engines. The cruisers then took the frozen alien bodies to our planet, Earth, and dumped them into the volcanoes of Hawaii. The aliens were no longer frozen, they were dead. The souls of those aliens, however, lived on, and all floated up towards the sky. But the evil Lord Xenu had prepared for this. Xenu didn't want their souls to return, and so he built giant soul catchers in the sky. The souls were taken to a huge soul brain-washing facility, which Xenu had also built on Earth. There the souls were forced to watch days of brain-washing material, which tricked them into believing a false reality. Xenu then released the alien souls, which roamed the Earth aimlessly in a fog of confusion. At the dawn of man, the souls finally found bodies which they could grab on to. They attached themselves to all mankind, which still, to this day, causes all of our fears, our confusions and our problems."

The REALLY crazy thing is, you have to pay to hear all of this!

Great News! It's a Zygote!

Yup, it finally happened! I've infected my wife, with a BABY!

Yes, that's right, we found out last night that my wife is indeed pregnant. If everything goes to plan, the mini-me will be here December 8th. I will confess, I was scared to death for the first 20 minutes, but now I'm really stoked! Now I finally get to use that sacred phrase, "Because I said so, that's why!"

This is going to be sooo much fun!

Okay, Krogers has gone too far!

Seeing as I make money from the technology industry, you would think that I am all for the faster and faster expansion of the digital domain. In most cases, that is true. I love gadgets, and creative new toys that make our lives easier. However, I think we still have a long way to go when it comes to the whole "Product Recommendation" fuzzy logic thing.

If you're not familiar... When you buy products at certain retailers (Amazon) or watch certain shows (TiVo) there is a program running that looks at what type of product or show that was, and then tries to suggest other things to you that it thinks you may like. Problem is, these are spotty, at best. Amazon seems to think that just because I bought my sister a sewing book for her birthday once, I'm now moonlighting as a seamstress. Even though it is the ONLY thing remotely related to sewing I've ever looked at.

The worst though is Krogers Grocery. They are a major chain food store where I live. They look at what you buy and print out coupons for you. Sounds great right? A couple problems though... First, they are never for what you actually buy. They are for a competing product. "Look, if I wanted to buy the crap-ass generic, I would have bought it. How about giving me money off the stuff I actually buy?" Also, they hand them to you wrapped up in the receipt, and where does the receipt go right after its trip home stuffed in your pocket? Yup, the trash.

A really strange happened to me today. As I was walking out of the store, I couldn't help but be confused. Here's a brief run down of what I bought:
1. Bagels
2. Corn Chips
3. Water
4. Cheese
5. Burritos
6. Lunch Meat
7. Mustard

So, what coupon do you think they printed out for me? Maybe a new type of cheese? Maybe salsa for my chips? Maybe even some pork-rinds to top off my unhealthy feast? .... Nope, Tampons. Yes, something called "Gentle Glide" tampons. Now tell me, exactly what about what I purchased would suggest to them that I would be in the market for tampons?

Must have been the bottled water....

Olympic Fever ... Catch iT!

Normally I don't watch a lot of the Olypmics. Not that I don't like them, it just seems like they always slip by me when I'm not looking. But this year I've really gotten into them. I've really liked the Speed Skating, and of course snowboarding. However, I do have two complaints.

1. NO FREAKIN WAY is Curling an Olympic - Level sport. I will grant you that it is a sport, like Bowling is a sport. But if Curling is a winter Olympic sport, then Horseshoes should be a Summer Olympic Sport. Basically, I don't want to see any "sport" where you can compete at an olympic level while smoking and drinking.

2. I will give it up for Figure Skating, those folks do some crazy shit. But if "Ice Dancing" is a winter Olympic "sport", then Ballroom Dancing should be a summer Olympic "sport".

To sum it up... Winter Olympics = Cool.... Sports you can't get killed doing = NOT Olympic!

Happy V-Day

Well, it was an absolutely gorgeous Valentines day here today. I hope you all got someone in your life something nice. And no, Stripper-Grams , do not count as "nice". I'm building something for my hunny. I might get a picture posted of it after the big reveal. That is, if it doesn't look like a retarded Charlie Brown built it.

Wanna know what she gave me? A cold. Yup, and it's one of those dancing colds. You know, the kind that dances from nostril to nostril. It wouldn't be so bad if I weren't already sick from my tumor.

Neck Update: For those of you keeping track at home, here's the latest:

• I went back to my surgeon last week for the post-op, and he said everything looked good on my neck.
• He said that the final pathology test were not complete, yet.
• He's referred me to a "Infectious Disease" specialist that I'll see tomorrow.
• The good news is that they are positive that it is not cancer, they just aren't exactly sure what it is.

So, I'll know a little more tomorrow.

Just a little bit worse for wear

Well, for all of you keeping track out there. I'm still alive. I had my surgery yesterday and everything went pretty well. They put me under, and cut out pieces of my lymph node. The good news is that it's not cancer. The bad news is that I'm infected with something, so we gotta figure out what it is. So, the surgery itself wasn't bad. The worse part was the air tube they put down my throat. It feels like some little person went in my throat and started kicking things. But hey, I did get a cool wound to gross everyone out with!

Oh yeah, and my wife has been great. Except that she's making me watch her soaps with her. Man, I really gotta get out of the house. I'm actually starting to learn some of their names. Someone save me, and give me a shot of testoterone!

Today's Inbox

Weird Email Subjects for today....

The truth is not in wine, it's in a cigarette - Damnit, so that's where I left it...

is it possible Morgan? - I guess anything's possible, but to know for sure, you'd better start smoking.

Say What?

Like everyone, I'm buried in a pile of SPAM email everyday. Some want to help me make money, others seemed very concerned about my wife's sexual satisfaction. Sometimes though, some of these emails have the strangest titles. So, I'm going to start posting the titles of the ones that really make my brain hurt. Now, I never open any of these, so I can only imagine what they contain....

Today's strangest email subjects:

Flawless Prescription Experts - Porn for pharmacists? "Wow, look at the size of her dispenser!"
Mature Amateur Peeing in Jeans in Garage - Maybe if she had a Flawless Prescription Expert filling her prescriptions, she wouldn't have these problems...

Weird Weather

Okay, granted that I've only been around for the past 27 years or so, but this has got to be one of the strangest January's I can remember. It was 60 degrees here yesterday! I went out in a t-shirt and worked in the yard! I tried going inside, but I just couldn't. I felt way to guilty. So, I ended up pulling my old BMW out of hibernation, and went for a short ride.

Today it's rainy, and windy. I think we're supposed to have snow in a couple days. I might have to take matters into my own hands and make some sunlight...

See, this guy looks happy, and contemplative! There's no way you can be tan, satisfied, and in such deep thought with normal everyday light. No way, you need the healing power of radiation!

Stompers

Does anyone else besides me remember these toys?
http://www.stomper4x4.com/

I freakin LOVED those things. The only problem was that you always wanted to run them through cool water puddles, and they didn't handle that too well. After about a week the battery would have a meltdown, and you were left with piece of toxic waste.

I'm getting my throat cut

Yup, that's right, someone's going to finally put me in my place. During a recent physical, I found out that I have a growth in my chest. It turns out that it's an infected lymphnode. So, Wednesday they're going to cut my throat, and pull out pieces of it to see why it's infected. It should be a blast... I'll be sure to post pictures if I get any!

Capital Punishment is Weak

Capital punishment is stupid, and if you believe in it, not only are you stupid, but you also hate Jesus. Yup, that's right, you hate Jesus. First, let's address the stupid part. Here's a basic breakdown of reasons for the death penalty:

1. "It deters crime" - This is the easiest myth to bust. You see, this is the reason the death penalty was re-instated. However, since being re-instated the murder rate has exploded. There are more people on death row then ever. Out of the major countries in the world, we have way more murders than the rest put together.

2. "The person doesn't deserve to live" - Well, if you're talking about the person as a threat to society, this doesn't hold a drop of water. We can very easily remove any threat to society by placing a person in prison for life. At that point the person can no longer pose a threat to anyone, thus, to kill them is excessive and unnecessary. If you mean they just don't deserve to live because they're bad, well that goes into passing judgment, and I'll address that below, you Jesus hater!

3. "It gives peace to the victim's family" - No, it brings revenge to the victim's family. Cold-blooded, rage-inspired revenge. Pure and simple. Nothing can bring back the victims. Nothing can un-do the horrific damage that was done. Killing the guilty simply satisfies a primal, emotional blood-lust.

4. "It costs too much to keep life without parole person alive" - Not true, it costs way more to keep a person on death row. You see the death row inmate will appeal the decision over and over again, and everything they do you have to pay for the judges, the lawyers, everything. This is why when people are sentenced to death, it is sometimes twenty years before they are actually executed.

So, those are the logical / legal reasons to keep the death penalty. With those reasons alone the death penalty should be repealed. But here's why you hate Jesus if you're for the death penalty. Jesus was against the death penalty. He taught nothing but compassion and forgiveness, and this also extended to those being put to death. He forgave the woman who committed adultery and was to be stoned to death. Also, it is completely illogical if you believe in the commandment "Thou shalt not kill" to say to a murderer "Well, you broke this commandment and killed a person, so we will kill you." That makes you as bad as the killer. Even if it is the state that is injecting the lethal needle, if you condone that action, you are enabling that to happen.

Pope John Paul II wrote in 1995, that execution was only appropriate, "in cases of absolute necessity, in other words, when it would not be possible otherwise to defend society. Today, however, as a result of steady improvement in the organization of the penal system, such cases are very rare, if not practically nonexistent."

So, there you have it, if you believe in the death penalty you are a bad Christian, and hate Jesus. Now, you don't hate Jesus, do you?

War on Christmas

Okay, I'm calling "Bullshit" on this whole "War on Christmas" thing. I've just spent three of the longest days of my life present shopping, and I would guess that out of 10 stores I went to, 8-9 of them said "Merry Christmas" as I left the store. The other store just said "Thank you". I'm totally disillusioned with network news! I had a big speach all prepared for when those Satan-loving dared to wish me their pathetic "Happy Holidays". I was going to go tell them how they hate Jesus, and Jesus is just a baby, so they hate babies, as I spat on them and ran out of the store crying "BABY KILLERS!!!". But I didn't get one opportunity. Damnit! Where's all this oppression I've been hearing about?

Rolling the Dice

As my family and I went out to dinner at a Chinese Buffet tonight I realized that sometimes we really take some unnecessary risks. Who knows why we do it. Sometimes it's to save some money. Sometimes to save time, but sometimes we just don't think. Such as:

1. Eating Shelfish at a Buffet
2. Eating Sushi at a Buffet
3. Hiring a friend's friend to do some electrical work.
4. Agreeing to smell something right after someone whinces at the smelling the same thing.
5. Agreeing to fly with a friend who has a subscription to "Budget Flying".

Can you think of any....?

Happy Holidays!

I hope everyone had a very nice Thanksgiving holiday, I know I did. This year was the first year ever that my wife and I actually didn't have to run around all day. Yup, we made everyone come to us this year and it turned out really well. In fact, I can't think of how it could have been any better! The weather cooperated, and we had very decorative snow on and off all day. The only minor problem was that up until about 24 hours before the party we didn't have a table, and needed something that would sit 8 people! After a ton of searching, we found a table, and four chairs straight out of 1965 for $125 from the local antique mall!

The rest of this week I've been on vacation. I was once again surprised to find just how lazy it is possible to be. I spent Friday on my couch. I'm not kidding, other than the restroom trip here or there, I spent basically all day on the couch! It was pathetic, but also fun! This week it's back to work, and a trip to Chicago. I'm driving, which is absolutely mind-numbing, but I've got Harry Potter and Jim Dale to keep me company.

Harry Potter Review

I went to see Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire last night, and I have to say, I was disapointed. But that's probably because I read the book. Okay... I had the book read to me by Jim Dale. Anyways, I can sum up the movie like this:

If you read the book, you'll spend the entire ride home talking about what they left out.

If you didn't read the book, you will likely leave with absolutely NO idea about what's going on!

Now, I know that the book was HUGE, and had a TON of stuff in it. So much so that if they included all of it in the movie, it probably would have been a six hour movie! But, I think they left out some significant underlying fabric that is going to be really important in following movies. I know that everyone hasn't seen the movie yet, so I won't go into too much detail yet. Maybe in another month or so.

For those of you who haven't read the books, which was me up to a month ago, do yourself a favor, and either read this book, or go down to your library and get the book on tape. Jim Dale reads the books on tape, and does an amazing job. He might be better thatn the movie! You see the first three movies stayed pretty close to the books, but this one is way off. I honestly think you're missing at least half of the story if you only see the movie for this installment. Okay, that's all I'll say... for now.

Well, not everyone is destined for college

I really feel like we don't have enough craftsmen left in this country. Years past, it was a minority of people who went to college after high school. Those that didn't went either into armed forces, trade schools or apprenticeship programs. Now it seems like kids are just expected to go to college. I'm a little concerned at this. I know from my perspective, I got into college, and I had no idea what I wanted to do. I ended up going to a technical school to get my MCSE (Microsoft) certification. It was something I was interested in, and gave me the skills and credentials I needed to get a good job that led to a career.

I really think people need to work with their kids before they push them off to college. I would really like to see more skilled, finish carpenters, electricians, plumbers and such. They are all highly skilled, needed, and valued careers. I recently went to night classes to learn welding, and I had a great time. I learned a lot, and created some pretty cool stuff in the process.

Somebody Help Me get to a Mountain....

For weeks now I keep checking vacation packages, hoping and praying to find some way to get out to Vail this year for a snowboarding vacation. But all I've discovered is that I don't have the $1500 for a decent trip.

I went out to Breckenridge a couple of years ago and it was amazing! So, anyone have any tips on vacationing on the cheap? Or, are there any long lost relatives out there with timeshares in major ski areas?

Do people listen to the fine print?

I don't know where you folks are from, but around here we get some really stupid advertisments on the radio. The latest one I heard today was a car advertisment where the talking head said that you should come down and buy a car because they will pay off the balance of your current loan up to $10,000! The thing that had me shaking my head was that they make it sound like they would just take care of your current loan, and the balance would just vanish into thin air. Do people really think some car dealer is going eat a $8000 loss just so they can make $1000 on that Hundai they're trying to get rid of.

At the end of the ad you can hear the disclaimer in soft-fast dialogue, "Balance of trade in transfered to new loan." I have to guess that people fall for this, or else why would they run the same ad year to year?

Royal Pain

Could someone please let me know what the allure of the Royal family is? I just don't get it. They don't do anything. They are basically inbred glorified goodwill ambassadors. On some level I feel bad for them. It seems like they are just there for the people's amusement. They try so hard to look like they've got everything under control, meanwhile their subjects just sit there staring for a hair to be out of place so they can ridicule them. It really just seems like a cruel experiment or something. I guess the Brits have the royal family, and we Americans have our celebrity fascination. No, I can't explain that one either.
I guess reguardless of where you are, people just want to see the famous fall on their faces.

Who Robs Banks Anymore

I was listening to the news today and was really shocked when I heard there are actually a lot of bank robberys. I just can't imagine robbing a bank these days. I mean, I don't think any of them have big piles of money in their vaults do they? There's no huge mountains of gold bars anymore right? I think all the money is transfered electronically any more. At best a bank would have maybe $20,000 on hand to cash checks on Fridays. If you think about it, that's really not that much money. Definately not worth jail time. Amazing.

Totally Called It!

If you haven't had a chance to watch The Colbert Report yet, then either you work for a living and can't stand to stay up till midnight on a weeknight, or you're just lame. You don't want to be lame do you?

Well, if you saw it a couple nights ago you'll know that they did a bit where Stephen "Totally Called It!" where he foresaw some events. Like Walmart becoming a sovereign nation. Well my wife totally called it with the Harriet Miers nomination.

Remember Harriet Miers? She was the totally unqualified supreme court nominee last week. Well, my wife (republican) and I (not republican) were sitting around trying to imagine why on earth Bush would nominate her. I just couldn't figure it out. If Bush wanted to nominate a minority, (as most people expected he would be forced to) there were many, many more qualified candidates that he could have choosen. But instead he picked this lady who couldn't even fill out the paperwork required. This is when wify got here epiphany.

She said, "Well, all he had to do is nominate an unqualified minority, and when they get ripped apart and withdraw, the door is open for him to nominate the white male Bush really wants. If someone tries to bitch about it, Bush can say, "Hey, I tried to nominate a minority and you didn't like her.""

Okay, and this is like exactly what happened. Bush now has an open door, and he has taken advantage of it. He's nominated a right-wing white male. Now, how do you think Altio would have been recieved if Miers hadn't been between Roberts and Altio. People would be pissed. Well I'm pissed and it seems like Bush is just pushing it to see how much he can get away with.