Beautiful Motorcycles

Anyone who knows me know that I am a NUT for motorcycles. I currently own two. I have a 1970 BMW R60/5, and a 2004 Ducati 749s. You could not have two more different bikes. One is old, slow, and drop-dead reliable. The other is fast as hell, tempermental, and one of the most beautiful machines ever created! For you other nuts out there, check out the new Norton bike. It is a work of art! My only gripe, although it is not classic, they should go with a single, center rear shock.

Mounds of Sugar

So, trick-r-treat night has come and gone and I only have one question, what do you do with 10 lbs of left over candy? You see, in our neighborhood the streets are all hills. Those old timers that say they walked to school, uphill, both ways... well, they lived on my street. So, I knew we weren't going to get many kids at our house. Well, I was right, in a big way! I think we got total maybe 10 kids. I even drove down to the bottom of our hill of a driveway so they wouldn't have to climb our big hill. So, I waited out in the cold for 2 hours, with $20 in candy, for 10 kids.

Next year I think I'll just give out the dregs of my cupboard. "Here you go kids, soup!"

DIY Addiction

I have a brand new addiction, DIY shows. I can't seem to get enough of them! Now, I'm not talking about those pansy remodeling shows, or extreme makeover crap. No way, those are the fluff shows. I'm talking about the "This Old House" shows, plumbing shows, and even the remote control hobby shows. It doesn't really matter what it is, I can't help but watch them! I've learned out to do everything from install a supercharger on a hot rod to replacing gutter. Now there is absolutely no way in the world that I will ever need half of this information, yet, I can't seem to help myself. However, I think I've stumbled on the conspiracy. You see, contrary to logic, I bet that general contractors actually really love those shows. It gives the viewer just enough confidence to try a project themselves. I'm willing to be 9 times out of 10 the homeowner screws something up royal, and have to hire in someone to bail them out.

The thing that bothers me about those "Extreme Makeover" shows is that they never show what the life of the family is like a year down the road. They take this poor family that can barely make the mortgage payments on their house, and in turn give them a mansion. This sounds good and all, but even though you just gave them a house, the heating, cooling, insurance, and taxes for this new home are probably enough to finally bankrupt the people. If it were me, and they built me a nice huge house, I'd wait about a month, and then sell it.

Screw Ty.

Stamping out Stupid Starts at Home

Now, I don't want anyone reading my last post to think I consider myself above the stupids, I occasionally play in their sandbox. So, in an effort to better us all, I will selflessly put aside my ego and offer up my experiences so that we can all learn from my blunders.

Stupid Life Lesson #1: Don't bake cookies on wax paper. You see aparently wax paper + 350 degrees of heat = Lots of house-filling smoke!

People do the Stupidest Things

I never cease to be amazed at just how stupid people can be. Sometimes I'm amazed by the big things like people trampling other people to get the newest toy at Christmas. But most times, I'm faced with the little things. Like people touching something that says "Wet Paint". Or someone smelling something really foul and then turning to their friend and saying, "hey, smell this". My irritation for today was people who come to job interviews that didn't seem to know they were coming to a job interview. Out of several interviews I have given lately I've had several strange applicants... 1. The first person was just downright hostle. 2. Another person just refused to give anything more than one word answers. 3. Another person dressed like they were going to the mall. All that I can assume is that either these people didn't want the job, or they have just really never been told how to interview. You know, sit up straight, be polite, and answer the questions in complete sentences. I would seriously hate to see what some of these folks would do if given power tools.

Picture of the day take one

Picture of the day #1: Kittens, yes kittens

Snow, you've got to be kidding!

It's only October! We officially got our first snow here today. Okay, sure, it splashed when it hit the ground, but it was certainly white before it got there! I could not imagine a more miserable day; cold, windy, wet, grey. It was amazing! Don't get me wrong, it was bad, but like all aspects of life it is important to have balance. I know, it is cliche', but I really do believe that we have to have days like this to appriciate the good ones. So, what'd I do today? Curled up and played the latest Tony Hawk game till my fingers ached. All at once it was pathetic and satisfying, but wonderful!

On a different note, do those dating services that promise to match you up with your ideal mate find someone just like you, or do they subscribe to the "oppposites attract" school of thought?

Birthday

So, today is my birthday, and this is the 27th time I've been through it. Does anyone have any good rituals they perform on their birthday? I'll let you in on mine. I take a picture of myself. Yes, every year, starting 6 years ago now, I take what ammounts to a mug shot of myself. My goal is to one day put them all together in a series so I can closely see exactly how I've aged year to year. I think it will be cool to see exactly where I aged, and what events had the most impact.

I think I got the idea from the Abraham Lincoln photos where before the war he looks like a young, happy person:
http://www.abrahamlincolnartgallery.com/archivepg1pic1.htm

and after the war, he literally looks like if Booth hadn't shot him, he would have died within days anyway:
http://www.abrahamlincolnartgallery.com/archivepg2pic9.htm

That's just 5 years difference! I bet this is why our "war" presedent Bush takes so much vacation, so he won't look like this. Man, it really pisses me off that G.W. even shares the same title as Lincoln once did. The man is truely not worthly. All you people who voted for him, I'm pointing my finger at you!

So, anyone else have any birthday traditions?

Where does that hair come from exactly?

Okay, when people do "hair transplants" where does the hair come from? Are their donor monkeys somewhere running around all bald?

Anyway, I got my new bike out a couple days ago for some glamor shots. No, not the cheesy ones you get at the mall. Some nice ones for backgrounds. I also got some pretty good ones early in the morning of the sun coming in through the trees. One last goodbye to summer. I hope these keep you warm on those dark nights.

Ducati
Summer Leaves 1
Summer Leaves 2

Colbert Report

So the weather is getting damper, and colder by the day. Summer's gone and the only thing to do is retreat to a warm blanket, a cozy couch, and a TV. So, while you are shutting out the dreary mess, you should at least have something good to watch. That's where I come in. I've been doing a lot of research for you, and I've come up with the best shows you should be devoting your hard earned attention toward:

1. "My Name is Earl" - Easily the best new show in quite a while. If anyone has seen the movie "Raising Arizona", picture Nick Cage's character, only a little younger.
2. "Colbert Report" - Okay, it's not The Daily Show, but it's damn close, only funnier. The first week has been absolutely hysterical. There are a lot of great, undertoned jokes that are witty, original, and probably too clever for the audience some times. I especially love the way the ad-lib conversations with the stage manager are completely scripted, as evidenced by the teleprompter behind him.
3. "The West Wing" - Okay, things have never been the same since Sorkin left, but it is still easilly one of the best shows on TV now. Only one problem, picking Leo as a running mate made absolutely no sense at all!
4. "Monster Garage" - Yeah, I know, it is totally a guy show, but I freakin love it. You can actually learn a lot of fabricating tricks from it if you pay close attention.
5. "How I Met Your Mother"- Okay, I'm usually not into sitcoms, but this one has a good premise, and it has Neil Pattrick Harris. He is really, really funny in this one! Kind of the mannic, weirdo from that movie "Harold and Kumar go to White Castle".

Oh, and by the way, don't bother with "Be Cool", the only good thing in that movie was The Rock.

RIP Jason Collier

This past weekend Jason Collier died. He left behind a wife and child. He grew up in Springfield Ohio, and went to my high school. I will be honest and say that I didn't know him that well. The closest I came was sitting behind him in Physics class. However, what I did know of him, was that he was a humble, and generous person. He was immensly popular for his basketball life, but it never seemed to go to his head. I guess an old cliche seems to fit best, "gentle giant".

I might be a little morbid I guess, but from time to time I catch up with a friend on what all the people I went to school with are doing now, and I can never help but wonder which of the people I know will die first. I certainly never would have imagined in a hundred years it would have been Jason. Let me explain a little... I remember as a child sitting around my parents and listening as they talked about the people they knew who had died. So, I guess this is where I picked it up.

Progress in life certainly seems to be measured by milestones. In my life they've seemed to be:

• Starting School
• Graduating 8th grade
• First Job
• Driver's License
• Graduating high school
• Drinking age
• College
• Marriage
• House

Seems like there's only a couple left, kids, grandkids, retirement, death. It's like life is a big scavenger hunt that you're collecting the pieces for.

Okay, enough depression for one day. Collier family, I am deeply sorry for your loss, and I am also sorry that the world lost a great person.

Space Race for Retards

Okay, I don't understand something... Why in the hell are we going back to the moon? Our president Bush has stated that we will be going back to the moon in the near future. But why? We've been there, remember. A few times. We've taken pictures, run around on our dune buggy, and had some laughs. We've done it. Now, I'd like to see us set up a station there. A real, working space station on the moon! How kick-ass would that be? With people living there, procreating, and actually having lives! That would be the coolest reality show EVER!

So, screw the moon, let's go tear it up on Mars!

Football is Complicated

I am one of the truely odd few men in the world what was never interested in football when I was younger. I never went to the high school games on Friday night, and I never felt a need to watch the college games.

So, some years have gone by, I'm older, slower, and slightly more bored, and I've started watching professional football. Of course, i really root for my home team, the Bengals, but I like to watch all the teams. The thing is, football is hard. I like to think that I'm a reasonably intelegent person, but geez, there is a lot of rules! The basic concept to the game is deceptively easy. I still don't know all of the positions, what they do, or why, but it's still fun. Those of you who are like I was, give it a shot. Sit down and watch it with a fan, and I think you'll find that anything is interesting if you're watching it with someone who's got enthusiasm.

Yeah, I'm a dork... so what?

Yeah, I'm a dork, and do a lot of stupid things. Number one on my guilty pleasures list, TV. Yes, I know that supposedly TV rots your brains, but I actually think there is a lot to contribute on TV. First on that list, CBS Sunday Morning. Yup, that show your parents watch. Well, back in High School, we had a really cool english teacher, Mrs. Barth, who would show us clips of the show on Monday mornings. It really surprised me. There is a lot of very good information on it.

I have completely given up watching evening news. I got sick of seeing dead bodies every night. I would watch those shows and immediately fall into deep depression at the state of the world. So, now I get my news from the Internet, where I can pick and choose what stories I want to read. Then every Sunday morning I watch "CBS Sunday Morning", and I have happily surprised with good news, and things that give me hope about the world. Give it a shot. It's on CBS at 9am Sunday mornings.

Welcome to the Tree House

Hey everyone, welcome to my blog. I've been resisting the temptation of blogging for ever. I guess I never imagined that anyone would read it. But, several of my friends have started blogging, and I thought it would be a great way to keep up with the family and friends that I see far too rarely. So, here it is. A self-centered, egotistical, completely biased BLOG! User beware.